I know you aren't going to want to hear what I have to say, but...you need to take all of your proposals to your lawyer and allow that person to review them, discuss them w/you and then have him/her present them to your h. You need to accept the fact that he is only looking out for himself and does not care what happens to you. I believe I stated a while ago that he would use the children to get whatever it is he wants. He sees his life one way and you see it another. You can't change his mind on this. In his mind, he feels like a victim and is tired of living the way that he has been. Maybe things weren't always the way that he wanted them, but he had a choice to remain quiet or speak up. But, that time is not gone to him.
Gerda, you can't rationalize with an irrational person. You can't fix him! You have to save yourself and then work on saving your children. Think long and hard about what you need to do. If it means selling the house, you may need to seriously consider doing so and starting over elsewhere and make that home yours and your children's. I get the impression that you are stubborn and do not want to move (you remind me of myself in many ways), but push come to shove....something has to give. You can't continue on like this forever. It's taking its toll on you and the children.
The signs are all there...time for Gerda to be brave, strong and decisive. Rip that denial bandage off your heart, mind and soul and do what you need to do to end this situation for your sake and your children's. Set him totally free and when you do, you will be setting yourself free as well. Once the situation is done and over with, you will be amazed at how lighter you will feel and yes, you will be able to see clearly again what you need to do for you and your children. Right now, he has you running in circles and you can't think straight. Talk to your lawyer and listen to what he has to say. Sometimes we have to let things go in order to set ourselves free.
Last edited by job; 01/17/1910:13 PM. Reason: add link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
