#11 - Piecing is hard!

[TJT]

I remember she said after she had come out of her waywardness that she was looking for opposition to what she was wanting and feeling. Hoping something would snap her out of it I think this goes to my point earlier about her not having moved into full blown waywardness since she was still relying on her morals, which she hadn't completely given up yet.

This is an important distinction IMO. Also why I wish more people would stick up when people they love (friends, family) act against morals that I think it's obvious we all (should) have. I honestly liken it to drug interventions... sure maybe their physical life isn't at stake but their rash decisions will very well affect their life and I hate how most people downplay that and act like they can't do anything about it.

I know you can't control anyone and some of it is subjective... but you can at least present some pushback and tell someone you care about your honest thoughts about their stupidity, like your W was looking for. You know, help present some different perspectives or whatever. It's sad that even people who are LOOKING for it will not get it because nobody wants to say anything and rock the boat most of the time.

If your W didn't get to the point of totally trashing her morals, I think there's some solace you can take in that, although I'm terribly sorry about her struggles with depression. In fact, most recently that's one of the hardest things I've been struggling with in my sitch... that even if my H came back, was willing to put in the work, etc., how can I actually differentiate between things that came from the result of "fog" (depression or temporary insanity or whatever other drivers) and the things that are actual moral flaws in his character that just never emerged until now?

But as always I assume everyone has a level of crazy that I'd have to deal with anyway so I don't give up on him. It would definitely be easier to give up, and I find myself wishing more and more that someone else would just come and prove me wrong and remove me from the emotional prison I've put myself in with my H.