Yet another potentially roller coaster week, I seem to be weathering these better now, long may this strength last Needed to take a step back and look at my life aspirations, and what short term goals would help me make it through what is still a difficult time.

Big Picture
+ When it is time to meet my maker, I would like to be able to look back on a life that was lived to the full, of joy, and of growth
+ With my updated self awareness, I know that I want to journey through this charmed life with a partner, and I choose H to be this partner
+ H has indicated that he too chooses me to be his life partner. Over time, he WILL get over OW, and WILL engage with me, forsaking all others. I know this is important to me, as I need to be secure in the knowledge that my chosen life partner is totally fulfilled in our R.
+ I want to give back to humanity and nature some of the joys that I have and continue to enjoy. Helping in my own way to provide relief from pain.

Interim Goals - for May 2004
1. I will continue my voyage of spiritual exploration and growth. This has centered me, and boosted personal strength
2. Enjoy family and friends connection - it takes time and effort every day to make a little connection, but the rewards are immense. Discovering depths to folks I have not touched in a long time. Gifts all around me that I've not appreciated in the past. Continue to support folks on this BB when I can contribute positively
3. Allow H space to deal with his issues. We now have R (and A, OW) talks about once a week, and H seems to value my input. S L O W L Y getting our R back to what it should be, then improving it
4. Keep on filling H's tank. With hindsight, I've been careless about this (as has he). I will keep in mind his LLs and work on these consciously first, then as a habit.
5. Take good care of my health. Long overdue visit to the dentist, and ugh, need to fix bags under my eyes Must get back to a more settled sleep pattern
6. Keep an eye on our financial stability. Still no progress on selling the flat, sigh
7. Spring clean and shift unwanted usables to Oxfam
8. Start putting some structure around charitable works. Contact some agencies and inquire about volunteer work

Well, it will certainly be a busy May. Hopefully no time to crazymake Folks, I am certain I will meander from this wonderfully designed path, so I'm counting on you to get the 2x4s and keep me focused. No doubt there will also be some days when these lofty goals mean nothing against the background of H still being in contact with OW, and I know I can come here to vent, and get PMA boosts. Thank you so much for being here. Hugs, Slowly

A Liberal Allowance of Time