Feeling lost getting over it and maybe not caring

[Turbine]

Not exactly confident in any IC. My sister sees one and was encouraged to get a dog she can't take care of. We had a session as a family when kids were in school and that soured W on that route. Don't want to deal with the side effects from the meds. I will talk to my Dr. though.

Mentioned how I feel to my Dr. Most of this is because of this whole D thing. So maybe I am too much US and not enough me in my head/heart. Could argue my actions said otherwise to her. Fair enough. My fault again.
Stopped going to church with her and as a family. My fault.
Job changes due to fired/lay off. My fault.
Didn't retire from Navy. My fault. That wasn't a place I wanted to stay. Not professionally. W had pictures of a guy in our house. Yeah... bf type. Our oldest D remembers. So why am I trying.

So messed up. You know. Kick her out. Stack her stuff outside and change the locks.

I've been so bloody stupid. She has some standard I won't ever meet.