I'm fairly certain (okay, how about positive) that I would not have been able to conjure reasons why it happened if I wasn't ready to think about it. In fact, I chose to avoid thinking about it.
I actually resisted bringing it up here, only for the pain quotient that surfaces with acknowledging this. But I'm choosing to thank you instead, because it forces me to make that one last wound scab over. It serves a purpose, and I appreciate that.
In fact, my mother confronted me in a really terrific manner. She was very concerned (actually, she still is--because she worries about her little chicks) and said,
"Betsey, your dad and I are very worried about you. We know that you and OM have been friends for practically a lifetime. I can remember the days when you'd lie on the kitchen floor and talk to him for hours... The fact is, he's in love with you, and your dad and I both think your feelings for him are fairly close. This is not appropriate, and we are concerned."
I DO appreciate her candor and concern. However, I was not prepared to start identifying why my R with OM had taken that turn because it opened up a can of worms I was really unprepared to handle all alone. It had to happen when I was in a position to process these things.
It wasn't that I didn't want to do the work, I was just scared to death of what was going to surface. I'm pretty sure that your spouses felt something similar. At that point, I realized that my feelings for OM were no longer about Mr. Wonderful. They were about me.
Peace to all today. Thanks for the gifts you bring!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
