What I’m concerned about with a DVRO is that she could potentially use some of what she claims I said / did in the past as basis for that—that I’m emotionally abusive and this and that and the other.
I’ve never been physically or sexually abusive towards her; I don’t believe I’ve been emotionally abusive towards her, but at this point it’s not about what I believe.
Have you retained a L or just talked to one? It might be time to retain one. This would be a good thing to discuss with your L to see if you need to do anything to document your W's threats so you can protect yourself against that possibility.
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W said that if I try to fight her on custody, she will fight back, and that she is being more than fair—better than any court or judge would ever do towards a man—that I need to seriously reconsider my stance. She asked if I retained a lawyer (I told her no—but I didn’t tell her that I consulted one).
OK well "fight her on custody" means what to her, that you're not agreeing to the nesting thing? Because that is complete BS. "Fighting on custody" means you don't agree on the percentage of custody for each parent, it has nothing to do with the living arrangements. The living arrangements are not for the court to decide, nesting isn't a legal issue, it's a personal choice outside of the legal system.
