You need to be careful. In your conversation you said she threatened to get a court order to get you kicked out of the home. As far as I understand she would have to do that with a DVRO. Then later in your convo she says she loves you and will go to MC, but on her terms. She is also re-writing history, gaslighting, etc. She is fully on the rollercoaster and attempting to pull you on with her. My Ex is only nice when she wants something. You say the right thing and the mask will fall off so you can see the true self hiding behind it. You saw some of that in your convo with your W and her threats Bo. You may need seek council with your L again.
TF,
She has threatened this court order if I don’t agree to the bird-nesting arrangement. She told me that she is not leaving.
What I’m concerned about with a DVRO is that she could potentially use some of what she claims I said / did in the past as basis for that—that I’m emotionally abusive and this and that and the other.
I’ve never been physically or sexually abusive towards her; I don’t believe I’ve been emotionally abusive towards her, but at this point it’s not about what I believe.
A lot of she would talk about last night is the HURT that I inflicted on her—how I would say and do hurtful things, and that she would cry in the shower every night (she would talk about the crying in the shower part in the past). I’m concerned she will claim the past hurts as emotional abuse.
I know I’ve not been a good husband at times (haven’t fought fair, been kinda distant, I’ve had anger / resentment that I’ve had to deal with or let go of in the past, forgetfulness, unwilling to change for whatever reason). But I just don’t know if I’ve been THAT terrible towards her to warrant her depiction of me—the crying in the shower is a personal reaction.
But yeah the rewriting: Oh back in October I really wasn’t planning on leaving—BUT WHAT YOU DID sealed the deal for this. Of course—it’s my fault.
I probably do need to talk with the L again. Monday, the L made a distinction between joint and physical custody—joint in the sense that it is legally ‘even’ (more or less) and physical custody (who actually sees and cares for the kids on a day-to-day basis). Based on what I told her, L seems to believe that physical custody would potentially skew towards me because of her travel for work. W also believes that I will pay her child support (she outearns me). L said that most likely SHE WILL pay me child support if it gets that far.
W said that if I try to fight her on custody, she will fight back, and that she is being more than fair—better than any court or judge would ever do towards a man—that I need to seriously reconsider my stance. She asked if I retained a lawyer (I told her no—but I didn’t tell her that I consulted one).
She doesn’t want to leave, and then again, NEITHER DO I.
Like I told A/S, I feel like a POS on 2 levels—about all the shiz that she dredged up, and that she came after me again and is now threatening with potentially taking the boys away from me.
