Yeah I think that the contrition and remorse from a WAW looks different than a WW, but I believe that they will make it clear if they want to recon. If they want you to mind read, drop small hints, etc etc, that is not satisfactory to me. I want proper communication and transparency - I do not want to play a guessing game or mind reading cheeseless tunnels. It's just not worth my time. This is my stance - if they were able to be straight up in communications about BD, they can do the same for recon. I won't take anything less as the person I would want to be with can handle conflict and figure out how to approach it in a mature fashion with a level of directness.
The hot and cold can be many things. It could be small temp checks and then withdrawal, or their mood, or feeling angry, guilty etc etc. There's just no way to determine the reason without directly asking, which is a waste of time. So, that's why it's best to let it slide off your back and continue your thing. I think your NC strategy sounds on point.
Have you dated? Are you thinking of dating? The thing I am wondering is if you're still hanging on to the MR by a small thread. It's been quite some time now. I hope you're truly moving on and creating a new life for yourself that doesn't have her in any measure.
