I know you have much on your mind, and lots to consider. When I read your post two things jumped out at me, well one really - the root of my response this morning. Accuracy.
Originally Posted by Gerda
My mind cannot, for the moment, adapt to this worldly idea of dividing children. I was a child of divorce and the idea of living in two different houses was insane. Thank god I was spared that, though I was not spared any other of divorce's horrors. Now the thought that I would have to divide my children, well, I currently can't get my head around accepting that but I can't tell if I have to. I don't care if H sees them every single day. I just want them to have one home, one place they sleep. And that is what they keep telling me they want.
As I said, things are settling with you, be accurate with yourself (and L). Accurate in thought and heart.
The mind is powerful and you will create more barriers and stumbling blocks when you think “cannot”. I changed your post a bit, added some text. A much better change is to replace cannot with won’t or will not. This probably seems small and inconsequential. I assure you it is not. Can’t is beyound our control, won’t or will not is within our control. Be accurate, especially for things you control.
You stated “I just want them to have one home, one place they sleep.”. Is this the truth? What if they live with H and you visit? That fits the criteria.
I will assume you mean you want them to have one place and that is with you. Be honest with your desires and wants. You may have to adjust them, and it will be easier if there are out in the open. To ensure I am being clear, this openness is within yourself and with your L - DO NOT TELL H ANYTHING!
Seriously, you and H are battling over division of everything, do not fall for any of his tricks or scams and share stuff with him - it will cost you - in more ways than money.
Take care of yourself.
Will talk soon.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
