OK, so if he is going to counseling with me, do I continue or is it more harmful?
My 2 cents -
You go. Do not remind him. If he shows up great, if not great. After a few more sessions, you can decide.
I would also find an IC. Start by asking MC for a recommendation.
I agree that if the other spouse is willing to go and it is already arranged - go. Don't initiate any back-and-forth on this or try to convince them. But if they have not indicated any interest, do not push this issue. In that interest it won't do anything.
