I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not I still want to be married to W.
What I do know (and understand) is that the prior MR is effectively dead, and it’s better that way—but the question is, would I want MR 2.0 with W? Do I want to get to piecing? That depends on the day and the moment.
And this is where I’m conflicted—I mentioned the word ‘vacillating’ earlier, and that’s exactly it. And I’ll have to admit questioning how ‘natural’ or ‘healthy’ it is that I feel this way, and am I justified in feeling this way?
I think we all have these feelings. And part of the "gift of time" is that we have the time to contemplate them at our leisure. You do not have to decide how you feel today - you don't have to decide how you will feel in the future. You can be okay with just saying outloud "today I don't know how I feel".
I too go back and forth between wondering if this situation is a gift or a curse. Perhaps it's both.
I do NOT think it is NGS to be hopeful for your future if it does not contain W in it. I think it is healthy to see that your future can be positive no matter WHAT it has in store.
Originally Posted by Bo562
While the negatives of a potential life without W do seem daunting, I’m somewhat attracted to the positives, and I do derive some hope from this.
This is the amazing gift of hope for the future. Stay with this thought process. It is so much better than fear. You're correct that you don't know what the future will hold, but I really applaud that you are doing: seeing something potentially new in your future, and not running from it. That's really the best we can do.
Also, regarding your hesitency at finding someone who shares your faith and values: I think we all feel that way. Folks on the "other side" feel the same way. Isn't that interesting? I find it so. I'm gay but I have the same fears you do - that I won't find someone who is right for me and my values and interests. We will find our people that are right for us. We did it once - we can do it again.
