Initial consultation with a L yesterday afternoon. The highlights:
I like her a lot—she has a good attitude (some spark / spunk), but also does not want to over-litigate if it can be accomplished, which is nice.
With respect to W’s parenting plan, L says that I DO NOT have to go anywhere, at any point (in other words, I don’t have to vacate to begin the time-sharing / bird-nesting, except for a court order in the instance of abuse / violence). That said, L does caution that if I do assert that to W (I probably won’t in those terms, but her perspective gives me courage / strength internally and I can then craft a message for W), then there is always the risk of W taking the kids elsewhere and I probably can’t do anything about that (unlikely she uproots the kids but youneverknow—where would she go, and then I wonder wouldn’t SHE become the flight risk?).
Explained dynamics where W is gone for work a lot (previous trainings / outings, but also her anticpated outing this fall where she will be gone for 3 months); L has a hard time reconciling with fact that W wants to be gone as often as she does, for as long as she does (3 months, really? Yes, really.)
In light of explanations of W being gone for work so much (overnights / late-nights, days, weeks or even months): L told me I sound like the primary caregiver for the kids.
From what I explained, L believes that W has a case of grass-is-always-greener syndrome; usually that doesn’t last for those spouses.
From what I explained, L believes that W has a case of grass-is-always-greener syndrome; usually that doesn’t last for those spouses.
Be careful Bo. I see this a lot where people start leaning on their L for understanding about their sitch. Leave that discussion for your IC. Always be mindful that your L is your LEGAL REPRESENTATION, nothing more.
Be careful Bo. I see this a lot where people start leaning on their L for understanding about their sitch. Leave that discussion for your IC. Always be mindful that your L is your LEGAL REPRESENTATION, nothing more.
As usual, you’re right A/S.
However the L was a very useful resource for assessing my options for the parenting plan, as well as division of assets and everything like that. That was good.
Home today with OS, as he has the stomach bug that has made its way through the household.
W went off to work and took YS to the sitter, and she thanked me for staying home with him. God, W looked pretty decent today—I know she has a meeting and that’s probably the reason for it. She wore a top in which I could see her cleavage pretty easily (she’s naturally well-endowed, but I’m sure breast-feeding helps), as well as blue jeans and boots that went up her calves over the jeans. It’s always a great look.
I’m also registering for a religious ed congress in SoCal and one of the workshop tracks is ‘Contemplative Dating’ (“it’s not about finding the right person, it’s about being the right person.”) I really want to swipe right on this one—to prepare me for W v.2.0 or perhaps someone else in time. I may also need to be talked out of this one—if so, tell me why.
2x4 me for any / all of this if I need / deserve it.
Now go do this at least 2 more times. Don't bet on the first horse you see. As long as they are free consults get additional advice before settling on a L.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
From what I explained, L believes that W has a case of grass-is-always-greener syndrome; usually that doesn’t last for those spouses.
Be careful Bo. I see this a lot where people start leaning on their L for understanding about their sitch. Leave that discussion for your IC. Always be mindful that your L is your LEGAL REPRESENTATION, nothing more.
Agreed. Also though, be aware not to mention to your W that unless you are "abusive" you can stay. Many a LBH has found himself out of the house on a false abuse charge.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Home today with OS, as he has the stomach bug that has made its way through the household.
W went off to work and took YS to the sitter, and she thanked me for staying home with him. God, W looked pretty decent today—I know she has a meeting and that’s probably the reason for it. She wore a top in which I could see her cleavage pretty easily (she’s naturally well-endowed, but I’m sure breast-feeding helps), as well as blue jeans and boots that went up her calves over the jeans. It’s always a great look.
I’m also registering for a religious ed congress in SoCal and one of the workshop tracks is ‘Contemplative Dating’ (“it’s not about finding the right person, it’s about being the right person.”) I really want to swipe right on this one—to prepare me for W v.2.0 or perhaps someone else in time. I may also need to be talked out of this one—if so, tell me why.
2x4 me for any / all of this if I need / deserve it.
I see no issues with you attending this. Now is the time for self-improvement.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
