I have to admit something. I am having very real bouts of anxiety regarding my sitch. The feeling is almost the same as the feeling of loss I felt after BD, which is very odd to me. It comes and goes, but when it happens I want to run and break up with my XW.
Joe, I've never been in your situation but I could certainly see myself having those same struggles. After going through what you have, now you're trying to reconnect with the same person that visited all that upon you. It reminds me of that comedian who used to say that getting remarried to the same person is like taking a bottle of milk out of the fridge and you take a swig only to discover it has turned bad, then you put it back in the fridge and say "maybe it will be better tomorrow" I am joking of course, a lot of people do recon and are quite happy. But it's going to take a while for you to get comfortable with her again. Look at it this way, you're not married and you're not living together, so you've got plenty of time. There's no hurry. And it's not going to be linear, some days you'll love her and other days you'll want to run. Just be patient and see where it goes.
Quote
And here is another thing. We had a conversation about how she could make me feel more secure about our relationship. So now she js trying really hard to make me feel comfortable. She tells me ILY multiple times a day and has been complimenting me a whole lot. I know it's... Kinda forced? Only because now she will say things to reassure me but I'm not 100% if she means them. What a mind f.
Well, she clearly loves you and wants to fill your emotional needs. Maybe she's not the best at it, but she's trying and that's awesome!
Quote
Oh yeah, and on top of all of this, something makes me want to leave the relationship. I can't explain this urge to quit, but it is there.
Sounds like maybe some flight-or-flight anxiety kicking in. Do you feel anxious?
I am joking of course, a lot of people do recon and are quite happy. But it's going to take a while for you to get comfortable with her again. Look at it this way, you're not married and you're not living together, so you've got plenty of time. There's no hurry. And it's not going to be linear, some days you'll love her and other days you'll want to run. Just be patient and see where it goes.
