I'm doing pretty well overall. The last week has been pretty eventful to say the least, but I am really starting to feel things getting better. I am still am working on my confidence issues but it is improving steadily. I got a shot in the arm last Friday when I went to the doctor and I lost 5 pounds...I lost fat and I gained muscle. And I'm seeing myself transform into someone who I can say is attractive, inside and out. I don't think I have ever felt this good about myself in a very long time. And it's being carried out in my actions. Whether it is attractive to others or not, I don't know nor do I care. I love who I am becoming.
My WW is seeing these changes and is starting to chase me. Albeit it's nowhere obsessive status (nor I do expect her to), it is something that I am noticing. She wants to do favors for me, offers to stay at home and "look after me" if I'm too hurt to take care of myself (I pulled a muscle that incapacitated me for the weekend), and just offers of...helping. Again, I'm not making ANYTHING of her actions (trust 50%), it is interesting that she is doing this.
I still experience dips regularly, but they are not as intense as they used to be. A combination of detaching, GAL, and focusing on my personal and professional growth has kept my mindset positive while I continue to navigate this.
I will try to update a little more regularly, but I just needed to step back for a bit from here and really reflect on my journey to this point. I have been reading my previous posts and observe the growth I have gone through. I am really happy where I am right now, and I know it will continue to get better as things start getting clearer and I become reborn. I keep up with the sitches here when I find some time and copy and paste wisdom from multiple threads into a Word document I keep in the cloud. I reference that document frequently to make sure that I don't get off track.
The latest one I copied and pasted is Blu's and Sandi's piecing document. I am nowhere near piecing, since things are still scattered about, but I am starting to feel that it is a possibility that may becoming more tangible as time progresses.
Oh...and so far, 2019 has been really good to me. Much better than 2018.
