Definition and Guidelines for Piecing

[kiro]

Sandi,

Thank you for the great advice!

Like Jujub, I'll probably never be in piecing, but I really enjoyed reading this list, and even more your last post. It actually helps me in my healing and my self improvement even if I never reach this stage.

My sitch in 1 sentence: BD 1.5 years ago, separated for 1 year, presently filing for D. WW and I in NC for about a year. WW had an A, but I don't know to what extent.

The LBS should not reconcile with the other spouse without full agreement to meeting whatever steps are necessary to heal the MR. Some LBS make their mistake by not laying out requirements, and allow the other spouse to more or less pick up where they left off.

The LHS must not endure bad behavior, disrespect, bullying, or any previous wayward behavior on the part of the other spouse.

The WS must not be the spouse who calls the shots when considering reconciliation.

This is extremely useful for me. It helps me feel stronger while continuing to work on myself. I see a lot of LBSs letting their WS call the shots with or without reconciliation. I've also made this mistake many times since BD allowing my WW to continue using such bad behavior with me (disrespect, bullying, etc.). I know I am in a different stage, but it helps me to understand that at no point should the LBS allow such behaviors again.