Feeling lost getting over it and maybe not caring

[Turbine]

Feeling so stuck in place. Dredging up all the old chains to the past. Like a ghost from Dickens...

My DB skills are trashed. How can I get to the place where this doesn't get to me? I woke up at 1 AM and sat in the living room in the dark. W got home at who knows. I was awake until 3. Trying to sort this out. Trying to talk to God. No where what might be considered a prayer... or maybe it was...

I have just shy of 120 hours of vacation time on the books. I don't care... because (all together now) I want to take the time with my wife. My kids are wanting to spend the time with me. Which is great and very considerate. Except...

Maybe not having had many girl friends hasn't exactly developed these skills. Now I am paying for it.

W complaining about money and saying she could have gone with someone with more $$$ hurts still. There are other in her list of short comings. Makes me wonder why I am where I am. Why I am trying so hard.

Time in the gym... will help the body... the mind and my "heart".... have to see.