J - you're totally right. This is so much of a reflection of who exW is than me. Your buddy by all accounts had all the markers of what we would call 'success' but his W still walked out. Good on her to reflect on her decision that went just beyond her and to other people and look at the larger picture. And that also goes to the point of how you could DB perfectly and they spouse still wouldn't come back - so much of that is on that spouse rather than the LBS.
I'm good with everything and I've let go. I've done much much work on personal growth and I see exW still in the same emotional and mental space during BD. Anger has lessened but she hasn't faced herself, her fears, her shortcomings, and is still a hostage to her insecurities. I can't have her back like that. And if she's seeking a true relationship with real connection, she's gotta work on her $hit. I don't know if she ever will, or if it will be too late for her by that time. A crisis is also an opportunity - I took that as an opportunity and I am better off for it.
