Thanks for popping by. I will check out your latest update. Haven't had a chance to spend time on the forums too much lately. You're right about how much space there is for growth, and I believe it will be a lifelong process of gaining new skills and insights.
About my religious path, I know what my values are and they don't align well with organized religions that we currently have in operation. I did go the atheist route - not the militant kind where I was arguing with people and trying to impose my thinking, but more so for my own personal self.
I am at a place where I don't know what to label myself. But over the last year, I've come to appreciate that there is just so much in this universe that we don't know and I need to exercise some humility. I've had some transcendental experiences that can't be explained away by science and rational thinking. Currently I am at a place where I believe there is something greater out in the universe that can't be explained away neatly and that there is a spiritual or transcendental side to the human experience. There's just no other way I can see it with what I have gone through.
I don't know if we have benevolent alien overlords in another dimension who are marveling at the human world, but I believe there is a greater energy force out there. I would say that I have experienced it and still do when I engage in meditation specifically.
I will never participate in an organized religion because the values don't match up to me and I would rather stay honest and true to my values than compromise. If I am wrong, then I am wrong, but I will have lived my life based on my truth rather than being told what the truth is. I have deeply explored the organized religions and having participated in at least 2 of them, I know that they are not my path to follow.
I am happy with how I have evolved as a parent and look forward to continue that path of growth. I know that I am in a minority of fathers out there who can handle their $hit well. For my marriage, I believe I just let my depression hollow me out and that led to the degradation of the relationship from my end. I am back to myself now and I know that what I have to offer is tremendous and look forward to sharing my life with someone who also meets my needs in a partnership. I am just slightly younger than you so we're not far off.
Things are way better and I feel so much stronger after the latest emotional episode. It's like I have unlocked the next level in the detachment game.
I'll check out your update soon. Hope you and your daughter are doing well.
