Once again I need to remind myself of the need for patience and to trust in the slow workings of my version of God.
W hand-delivered a letter to me last week. I thought it would be a "Dear John..." letter. Instead, it was a kind, thoughtful, and loving letter. For the first time since BD, she clearly took ownership over her situation. She apologized for not continuing with the IC she initiated many years ago. She explained some of the insights she has discovered regarding her childhood years that left an imprint on how she handles things. She apologized for causing me pain.
I responded via email with thanks and with my own apologies for not having the patience or skills to fully understand what was going on within her. I affirmed my wishes for her continued growth and happiness regardless of what happens.
I am not getting my hopes up. But I am continuing to give her space and to maintain distance beyond my initial email, which I thought the situation warranted.
When I pray, I sometimes rely on mental images. My mental image is that of a turtle, sticking its tiny, fearful nose out from within its shell. I pray for the patience and grace to create the safe space the turtle might need to emerge more fully. I am grateful for God's grace and feel impelled to try and offer the same to W. (Grace: unconditional love bestowed to the undeserving.)
