And i will never be in piecing, but i am admittedly a bit of a "justice junkie" as put by another poster. I have also seen a lot of abuse on these boards. Lying, infidelity, gaslighting. All abuse. And i am reading a piecing story right now, and my heart aches for this poster and her patience with her ex.
Regarding # 9. It says that the recovering spouse will still be mourning affair. Might not have the same excitement or energy torwards reconciling.... when i read this, i cant help but think, oh boy. More ways for the LBS to feel the need to walk on eggshells and eat those "sh!t sandwiches". I have never ever agreed with eating sandwiches made of sh!t. But when i came on here in 2015, it was the fashionable thing to say and do.
Now my thoughts are that in order for reconciliation and piecing to work, the walkaway should be excited and energized and willing to do anything (fight back pride, maybe eat a few of those disgusting sandwiches themselves so they can empathize with the taste and gag factor). They need to want this like they wanted their affair partner. Returning to their spouse cant just be plan d for them or how can this actually work?
i am not saying this as a matter of revenge. Obviously LBS would have to be capable of letting go of anger and resentment.. But im saying, for it to work i would think the walkaway has to want it bad enough. I would also think that the LBS would have to be in a position where they dont need it. They are ok by themselves. No more walking on eggshells or unhealthy eating habits.
