13 years and 2 kids pt. 4.

[Hurt213]

Journaling:

LH,

thanks for the 2x4's, much appreciated. I do feel however, that I am detaching slowly, but none the less, detaching. I am enjoying the IHS ending, because it gives me perspective, and you guys were right, that was much needed and not possible as long as we just went on our merry way with IHS (or WWs merry way at least).

That "have a nice weekend thing" has haunted me since saturday, lol! NGS alert. Don't know what I was thinking (probably didn't think at all, how weak was that!).

I have had a good weekend with my kids, and we have been doing some outdoor activities and visiting family and friends.

I set up GAL activities for 4 out of 7 days next week, so combined with gym and work, I will have my hands full, but its all things I am looking forward too. Weather is slowly turning for the better, so it won't be long before I can play golf again, and I am looking forward to that as well.

So question in general about my sitch:

So basically the agreement is that IHS ended, and we take turns to have the house (with kids) for 7 days a week, and we switch on fridays. So because of D4 birthday, WW didn't take off before saturday morning. The kids haven't mentioned her once since saturday with exception of yesterday, when WW texted and asked for a call with D4.

When its in the kids best interest, I will of course always oblige. There is a hard difference between me and WW's relationship, and the relationship me and WW has as parents to our children. So I asked D4 if she wanted to talk to mommy. D4 said no, and then minutes later, she broke down, cried her heart out and said she wanted mommy to come home (yea that hurt really much).. She quickly turned around, and there has been no mention of mommy since. S1 is a little trooper, and just goes around minding his own world (which evolves around him, and as long as he is comfortable and feels safe, then he can take on anything with the confidence he is projecting - maybe I can borrow some? :D).

I texted WW and said, that D4 didn't want to talk on the phone, but maybe later. I didn't ask D4 again that day though.

Well this morning I got a text from WW. She is coming home today (every second or third day when we are out of house, because kids are so small). She basically wrote she was looking forward to picking up the kids, and will leave again when they sleep (I feel surprisingly fine with her leaving again). She then followed up the text with another saying "oh btw, I will be coming tomorrow after work and then again wednesday, ok?".

So yea, that doesn't work for me, and is not what we agreed upon.

I texted her the following:

"Hi, WW. The kids are looking forward to being picked up by you today. Actually, I am not fine with you coming tuesday and wednesday, to be honest. Every second or third day, makes perfect sense according to the needs of our little ones. D4 cried and said she missed you after I asked her yesterday about a call with you (she was fine minutes later, and didn't talk about you after that, so dont worry, it is what it is). But the point is, the kids need stability and fixed habits in their daily lives. We can't provide that, if you or I turn up every day, and then are gone when they wake up. Its better if we stay to the agreement we made, because, then they will learn, and then know, what to expect from us in this new life they suddenly have to adapt to. I hope you understand what I am saying. But they are really looking forward to seeing you today.

H".

I was trying to keep it neutral, but hell no, we aren't going to be her waiting room, where she comes home and stays until her OM returns from work or w/e, and says she can come over. I just spent an entire week away from my kids. Now she has to uphold her side of the deal, and she is most likely not gonna.

I am contemplating, just taking the kids and go visit my folks for tuesday and wednesday, if she doesn't understand my text. I am on a good path. I can't be sucked back in right now, because yea, im not strong enough, and I dont want to ruin my slow but still, advancing progression.