Affair discovered 3

[STH17]

I just accepted W's FB friend request. She said I needed to do that so she could add me as a parent to son's messenger account. I took the opportunity to browse her posts and see if anything had changed. NOPE. Everything I see there still shows me an angry woman who believes she is a victim of abuse, made a mistake marrying me, and can't handle being a parent. Funny that lately I'd been feeling more warmly about the memories FB shows me. Hard to see those and remember our relationship wasn't all bad, then see the past year of garbage W has posted.

I don't think I can stay married to a person like that. I have a feeling at this moment like I need to start running for the exit door myself. What I see on her FB is not a person I would want to reconnect with anymore. I don't understand her, and I think I'd be lost in a dark place if I did.

Anyway, I unfollowed her, put her on my restricted list, and I don't plan on checking her page anymore. Maybe after filing for D, which I think I should target for May, same as graduating and getting a job and finding a school for son for next year. All things I'm still afraid of doing, but not afraid of happening. And that's why I'm still in counseling!

I know I shouldn't delay action any more on the chance or hope that she'll snap out of it. Wish I could see some kind of accountability from her though.

Did I mention she's started using our joint credit card quite a bit more again? And carrying a balance with it. I didn't want to divorce just because of financial reasons, but I am looking forward to not being liable for her financial choices anymore. Hoping that selling our house will settle all debts and we can just move on separately. Oh wait we have a kid together... Sorry son.