Sansa... I so know what you are going through. In the first few weeks of my sitch, my H told me that he was coming back home...twice... and then backed out both times a few days later. I think he was very caught between doing what he knew was right (because he knew he didn’t work on things and he also knew that he had been a complete a$$) and doing what he felt he needed to do to feel better. In hindsight, I know that if he had stayed when he was still feeling the way he was feeling, we would have still ended up back in the same place as we are now. So, as painful as this has been, it is better this way. My H needs to go down this path and I need to get out of his way. We may run into each other down the road, we may not... but for sure we cannot go back... neither of us can. And to be honest, I wouldn’t want to. My H, for whatever reason, was not a good husband or partner. He was solely focused on himself and what he wanted. That is not a person I want to be married to. I deserve better and so do our children. And even though you are really scared right now, deep down, you know that you do too.
I know how you feel...about not wanting to get out of bed. I have had many, many days like that. However, I would recommend that you force yourself to do it anyway. Focus on what you want and need and on doing what is best for you. Give your H the time and space he needs to figure himself out. The more you do to reach out to him, the longer it will take him to do that as he will just continue to see you as the problem. So step back from all of it as best you can and have faith that you will be okay. BELIEVE IT!! (((HUGS)))
