Hi joe joe and DJV, My H came home and told me he has been unhappy just like he did 6 months ago when he dropped the DB. He said that our MC was going to tell me this week about the move.....we each had separate appts with him this week, now I know why. I didnt DB....at all. I asked to see his phone which he offered me but he may have deleted any incriminating stuff but it did not stop me from telling him he is a [censored] liar and to get the hell out of the house and he said he wasnt a liar. The thing that frosts my ass is that we havent even been through 6 MC sessions and he decides to get an apt, that tells me all i need to know, he had his mind made up. He then tries to rewrite MY history and tells me i havent been happy either and that he knows he is stressing the hell out of me and I’m walking on eggshells around him and doing things to make him happy, he said in MC that we dont have things in common so I am trying to be open to doing things he likes but its damned if i do damned if i dont.
I told him i was planning a ski trip( something we love to do and have been doing for yrs) and had nothing to do with each wanting his approval.... i told him he is depressed and blaming everything on me, and he told me he knows hes depressed and doesnt blame it all on me, he is still going to IC once a week, i told him we have all been depressed but that I’m not going to break up my family over it...that I am willing to work on things. He said he wanted to talk and and then we sit down and he says nothing I can say to you will make you understand ....and then he was silent, so I said i was going out to walk the dogs and I wanted him gone when I got back. I told him he is not the same person i married and that no matter what I say or do he is going to VIEW me in his mind as “this person”. I told him he was the one who was going to tell our son, and he said he would. I’m back home and some of his clothes are gone. He got stabbed and his dad died last week but he still is moving out....i am speechless.....he gave me false hope, he was being really nice and cuddly with me in bed the last few days and know i now why...just buttering me up for the second Dbomb in a sense. I know a lot of you have said they could detach once there’re spouse was out of the house so that is another reasons why I kicked him out., also wanted to cause some pain. I still feel hurt and sad and scared and like a FOOL. The shitty thing to add is we still have to do family therapy on the phone with my son once a week. I feel so sorry for my son and this is going to be so hard just when he is doing well and hes all about family and reunions etc.
Joe joe thanks for youre reply...i was mean as hell to him..told him he has turned into a bad cliche. I regret it but I feel betrayed....I am doing better than when he first DB me back in July, but part of me was hopeful because we were going to MC....now hes going to be out of our house....this is going to be lonely and hard.
Djvue...i was hoping to hear from you...thank you....I know i didnt validate or let him talk much....he needed to be called out on his [censored] though. I now begin the long road to healing from what looks to be the end of my marriage. But at the same time hoping he calls me. I’m sure he wont. Ive got lots of good friends and things in my life but I know tomorrow i wont feel like getting out of bed. Just venting....
