I meant to respond when you first posted your update but was interrupted, then time and life just got in the way.
I agree with AS (as I do with most things) your reasons for pushing the D forward comes from a rational and considered place. I get no sense of resentment in your post. I hear a man who has been put through a hell not of his own making, and come through the other side with his reason and his heart still in tact. There is forgiveness in your post but also a desire to 'live your life' fully.
I suspect the general advice here for LBS to not push for S or D is because most of us, when we shout "D" or declare that the rope is dropped are not thinking clearly. We are hurt and emotional and reacting out of anger. Whilst we are in that state, any action is going to do more harm than good. But there is no pain in your post. Just a sense of wonder at the world and an optimism for the future. You are not rushing things. You are moving forward with love.
Good luck with the dating. I suspect were I of the type to be dating, then your resent separation would be a red flag ... but I think I have gotten to know you a little bit ... and any woman would be lucky to have you. What I am saying I guess is I would not start with "I am recently separated ..." not because I think you should be dishonest, but you are so much more than your relationship history
PS - I have found a hot yoga class near work and I am going to try it out this week.
