Ooops, sorry AD. I didn't mean to upset you. I'd had a couple of drinks when I wrote that last night and I may not have put it the way I meant it.
Thanks NMB for the frank insight, that was very revealing and not what I had imagined. I was under the impression that things were more obviously physical.
I think need to explain my line of questioning. I am aware of several classifications of sexual dyfunction in women, the main two being desire disorder and arousal disorder. Due to the lack of communications in this area in our R, I still haven't fathomed out whether my LD GF is never interested (ie SDD) or sometimes interested but loses it because of lack of response (ie SAD). I know from a man's point of view that we can be triggered off in both ways - an erection can trigger mental turn-on and vice versa. I was fascinated to know if a woman also has this two-way street. If not, then the idea of "just doing it anyway" is not so helpful if the LD partner is the W. More recently in our case, I am sometimes permitted to try to initiate for a while instead of being pushed away immediately but a couple of minutes later she says its doing nothing for her and she stops me. It seems she is at last trying to reach for some desire but won't explain to me whether its her mind or body that is failing her.
Alex, Well I just can't stay away from a good old fashioned sex talk, so here is my opinion. I do not feel anything that can be compared to an erection. When I am horny, I feel like Mojo and experience a tingling or warm sensation. Also I have the jumpy and "on edge" feeling..just the physical sensation of needing release.
Where I DO feel a definite physical change is in the vagina. It literally opens up like a flower when I am thinking about sex, anticipating sex, and of course when I am about to have sex.
For me, the erection of the clitoris happens AFTER stimulation starts. Sometimes I can feel myself enlarge in H's mouth, or under his fingers but I hardly ever feel that in the absence of direct stimulation. Whew! I know you didn't mean this to be a hot thread but it sure is making me ready for bedtime.
If your fiance experiences orgasms, then I'd say that her problem is in the desire department, as opposed to the physical malfunction department. Not WANTING an orgasm and being unable to have one are two different things, kwim?
Hope you get it all figured out soon and BEFORE the wedding!
Oh and I feel that I must apologize to everyone for that barfy "opening like a flower" analogy. Honestly with two little ones underfoot, I have no time to think up more poetic turns of phrase. (I'll leave that to Jon)
Hope you understood what I meant and that I am NOT going to write romance novels as a second career.
I agree on what everyone else said. Men can get aroused with very little thought. I know that I can at anytime if I choose to - since so much of it is in the mind. Though around my ex-b, I'm like Pavlovs dog. If I'm not around him - I just don't think about sex much. It's not like seeing a hot guy makes me horny.
I won't try to put it in a poem to my wife, but I think it did help explain what you wanted to say. So please don't apologize for using imagery to get something across!
If I'm not around him - I just don't think about sex much. It's not like seeing a hot guy makes me horny.
