13 years and 2 kids pt. 4.

[Hurt213]

Journaling.

Had a wonderful birthday for D4. The whole day and evening was centered around her, and it was wonderful. She and her kid brother practically fell asleep standing up at the end, and then capitulated. When the guests left I took off and smashed a 2 hour gym session in. Ended the day with a coffee with my neighbor.

Have been upbeat, friendly and listening around WW, but mostly just minding my own business and not mind reading or analyzing her actions, as I have been doing a lot. I just don't really have the urge - hard to explain what is happening inside me right now, but I feel, I dont know, balanced of sorts.

This morning I woke up, and WW had cleaned the entire house, which was a new for her. I thanked her and packed the kids bags for the swimming pool. I overheard D4 ask her, when she would be back in the house to which she responded "I will be home again monday, sweety".

When D4 left the kitchen I entered and asked if she would be coming to spend some hours with the kids monday, because I overheard something that sounded like that. She then said she would be coming home monday and stay some days. <-- Yep, I journaled about this would most likely happen. I told her, in a friendly but firm tone, that we made an agreement to terminate the in house seperation, and I would really like her to come by every 2nd or 3rd day, and spend some hours with the kids due to their age, but I would appreciate that she honor the agreement we made. She said that she would be out every night if I wanted, and then I would only see her for breakfast. I told her, again, friendly but firm, that me and her are no longer what we were, and therefore I didn't have the need for her and I to share breakfast, and she need to figure out somewhere else to stay when I have the kids. I kept it cool, no emotions and I think that kept it from escalating into something it doesn't have to be. She agreed to what I proposed, and said she understood.

I then wished her a nice weekend and took off with the kids. We just returned home now from the swimming pool. Two tired kids who are just having a bite before we are going to create some drawings and go for a nice long walk.

Did I handle myself alright? I mean, I feel really relaxed when she is not around and I dont have to deal with her. The last week without her, has been a blessing truly. I have been turning my energy and focus towards myself, and my confidence level has taken a big notch up. I am looking forward to the next days with my kids and no interruptions of unwelcome presences .

/h