This morning, received a long message from exW and she mentioned the D word and how we can move it along without the lawyers and jointly file an uncontested D. Just took my breath away really.
I started the separation agreement process leading towards getting the D done and intellectually worked through it all, but it's taken an emotional hit that I wasn't really expecting. I figured it would sting, but I am just in a bit of an emotional funk right now. I haven't responded back to her yet, but I don't have any objections to her suggestion.
So do you think on some level you were pushing the S through hoping it would wake her up and snap her out of it? I think a lot of us threaten or actually pursue S or D and convince ourselves we're doing it for the right reasons but deep inside we're hoping it will bring them out of the fog. But it never does, it's really just giving them what they want.
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I'm just feeling like a total failure right now - in life and marriage. I just never imagined that I'd be here in my relationship, life, and career - all of it not in an optimal place.
I'm sorry you're feeling down on yourself! You're a great person with a bright future, but I know it doesn't feel that way to you right now.
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Her bringing it up also has flooded me with thoughts of how she's just moved on and probably has someone already and didn't even give me a shred of a chance to make this work. It just really feels awful right now.
Well, you know from your time here that that is just a reflection of how she feels right now. It could change in a week or month or year, the future is unknown. So there's no reason to give up hope unless you choose to.
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I've just taken so many hits in my life and I just want to give up and stop trying to improve anything and accept that everything is going to suck and I might as well ride this life out until it ends.
Boy do I remember those feelings of just being the world's punching bag! One of the things I learned is my enjoyment of life is not dependent upon being king of the world, or owning a snazzy car, or having a bigger house, or a trophy wife or whatever. I've been very successful in my career and made good money but do you know what some of my happiest moments in life have been? Very simple things. Camping out with friends. Hiking with my kids. Playing pool and sharing a pitcher of beer with a couple of buddies. Sculpting in clay. Sleeping in cuddled with my dog on a Saturday. We make life too complicated, it doesn't have to be. So to hell with your wife, give her a D if that's what she wants. Screw trying to be super successful at work, when you are on your deathbed do you think you'll have ANY regrets that you didn't spend more time at the office or make it farther in your career? If you want to improve something then improve Maika's love of life. Because in the end that's all that matters. Go out and have fun and let the rest fall where it may.
