She should trust you. People who have cheated often project their weakness onto other people. I don’t think it was just about the XGF being there even though. The fact that she couldn’t go to the party because your friend thinks she is a terrible person is probably bothering her quite a bit as well. Another reminder of how her actions have damaged relationships and that there is a part of your life she is still not welcome to share. I’’m sure that combined with XGF, who is welcome in that part of your life, being there likely brought out her feelings of shame and then revealed insecure and jealous feelings that all of us have had to contend with from time to time. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to work through it internally without reacting and texting a bunch of things I’m sure she likely regrets after sleeping on it. I don’t know your XW so I don’t know if this is the “norm” for her. I would not want to be with someone who is regularly insecure and needing my reassurance all of the time. Like LH says, she has some issues to deal with.
