Building my best self and life with or without W

[Did]

The 2x4 four person combo attack did the trick. Short and to the point or no response at all. She needs to know she has lost me. I haven’t replied to her text from yesterday and today will just text. Please pick up D4 by 10am tomorrow.

My schedule is constantly changing. I’m a realtor which requires showing houses based on tenants availability. And stuff pops up as property management requires. I’m a lacrosse coach and program director tournament, practice, training schedules and what in coaching vary weekly and seasonally. I have a start up business for recruiting high school players which also has appointments as customers come in via online marketing. Also meetings for business I try to schedule during D4 school as much as I can. Currently I have bunched practices and trainings to tues-thurs but then tournaments and events are weekends. In the spring I coach HS lacrosse which is every day and game schedule varies. My schedule is very difficult no where near a 9-5. But it also allows me to have 50/50. The only way to have a set schedule is to use day care or a babysitter all the time. At this point it’s week to week.

GAL is going pretty well. I’m writing this book which is therapeutic and a passion project. I know it may not seem like it on here as I obviously still struggle with how to treat w but I’m going to treat her like an ex. She doesn’t treat me that way as you see with texts and sht. But Ive accepted divorce I’m not scared of it even if it’s sad. I deserve better and detaching I’m much more detached that I was a month ago. It’s easier not to respond and I barely give her attention when we’re briefly around each other with D4.

I’ve learned an immense amount about myself. I’m committed to coaching men down the road. I was depressed and emotionally unavailable. Now all I want is human connection and a healthy relationship.

This weekend I’m going to a pro lacrosse game with a group of kids I coach and some friends. Coaching sat all day and sun am. 1/24 I go to Vegas for a tournament. I go to the gym 3-4x per week. I’m working with a business / life coach on a weekly call. I’m building my future and I’m proud of the man I am today. I’m aware of some of my issues from childhood and working on them. I get lunch with friends 1-2x per week.

I continue doing Ic with a counselor I really like. She has called W my drug of choice. Mentions that if her words and actions don’t line up there can be no trust and no relationship.

Appreciate the blunt advice on how to treat W.