Just keep swimming, I think I can, I think I can #

[Rita]

Marina and DnJ, this marks the first time I don't agree with DnJ!

Marina, my L prepared an affadavit with me. It talked about my life with H before BD, how different it was and then what happened after. Most of it was about his drastic change in terms of the children, but not all of it. The affadaviit showed that he had a huge change from everything our M was based on, and that his huge change included his becoming an unfit parent. It's the basis of my request for temporary custody. I don't know if it is going to work but she thinks it will.

Why would your L not do this approach with you? Because of money? And because you are in a lesbian marriage? If so, that is WRONG and not what is best for your kids. if W has more money, she has to provide for them. Maybe she is asking for full custody because OW doesn't want money leaving the household. They are not a family. They just met less than a year ago! That is not what is best for the kids, to switch to the parent of the moment. And to switch to the parent who abuses them physically and mentally?!

Not only that, but "preservation of the status quo" is a big deal in D proceedings. There has to be a good reason to disrupt the trios' life, something that is better for THEM.

DnJ may be right that there are things you can't change in this world, I get that. But from what you are saying it does not seem to me that you can trust your lawyer as an advocate. Have you had a hard talk with your L asking him/her to explain your rights as a mom and a lesbian parent?

If you were fostering the trios, I think you'd have more rights, and you'd get some money from the state for them so the provision for them wouldn't be an issue.

Marina, I am a Catholic woman. And yet when I read what you wrote about this meeting, I felt very strongly that what is happening is not in the best interests of the children and that your lawyer was not protecting your HUMAN rights because of your sexuality. I even woke up early this morning because it was on my mind, and I got on the computer even though I have to take my D to school. In other words -- I say that about me being Catholic to point out that for me to be fighting for your rights really means something. I think this is really important for you and the kids.

I live in a city with huge LGBT rights/community. So I am going to go to the LGBT center in my city today for you and ask if there is help for you. Was I right about which state you are in? If you get this, let me know so I can try to get a local number for you. If this is a new area of law in your state, maybe someone will take your case on pro bono in order to change the law in your state.