i'm back almost 1 yr later...still battling...I felt like there were patches of good in the bad...but she tells me she wants to see me striving aggressively and consistently for my goals--I am in agreement that I need to do that..I am able to admit my faults....and at the same time she wants me to partner with her to help her achieve financial freedom and not rely on her 9-5 job...I understand that she wants to be free of the daily grind...I also understand her frustrations with my lack of achievement personally...I am my own worst critic...I do know I can improve there
...I feel like I was escaping the depression which had led me to gain weight...and then again she starts mentioning maybe we'd be better off on our own... I'm very stressed right now...I know a D will be very painful for everybody....I don't think it's worth it...I do love her.....right now i feel like the 5000 lb of bricks of the relationship are piled on my back.....
every time I try to compromise and offer my commitment to her desired financial goals in exchange for us going to counselling she does her best to avoid the idea of counselling...this is baffling to me...what could it hurt at this point?
she tries to play it as if i'm the selfish one and it's all about me....of course I don't agree with that characterization...that's why I feel a neutral 3rd party could shed some light on things
....i feel there's some midlife crisis stuff going on here..she's turning 50 coming up...I'm 5 yrs younger..
I don't want to stay in this marriage for merely finances...I'm willing to do what it takes to alleviate financial stress that she's facing and have proposed down-sizing completely in every way...it's not good enough for her...
I would not want to stay in this marriage if i despised her...or we hated being with each other...or couldn't stand to travel together...but those things are false....we have amazing trips together...more than I can begin to count.....we have different likes and wants and needs and are different people
I do still feel there's a shred of interest in her in saving the marriage...thoughts?
