The reason why she is cryptic? Because she was afraid of what your reaction was going to be if she was direct. She was hoping you would get the clue on your own so she doesn't have to hear more of the same and the backlash.
I lived a life like that. I know it wasn't the right way of handling it, but I lived in so much fear of my ex's reactions (he was exactly how you describe yourself) that I became very passive aggressive hoping he would figure it out so I wouldn't have to deal with what would come if I was direct and he didn't agree, because he never agreed because he was also a victim of some sort. He was always right. ALWAYS.
great step in admitting what your faults are. But not it is the time for you to do the work on them. I wouldn't even think about W. Just how you could help yourself.
