Just journaling. I know im way behind on being over my ex. Im surviving divorce. Just not thriving. You guys are just way ahead of me. Im not indifferent.
I think my anger stems from 1. He did a lot of stuff that someone should be angry at 2. It prevents me from feeling that deep pain of rejection, discardment, not being loved. Like logically, whi cares about not being loved by someone that did and does such horrible things.
Hes taking son away with his girlfriend and her young child. Upsetting, cause i was the one that always wanted to take trips. He would never have money to go, and i would end up paying to get him to go. When we went, it wasnt even fun cause i would have to wait hours for him to get ready, we would get to places late which is a waste of money. He would disappear all the time. I did all the packing and preparing. (For thisbtrip i will once again be doing the packing, as he does nit really have clothes for son)
My narrative was that ex was headed down for a trip to rock bottom. That drugs and alcohol were his demon and mistress. He had taken so much out of his IRA, had tons of cc debt,. But He has a girlfriend (probably younger cause she has a young child) and is going away places. How can that be?
This hurts me tremendously. He does not hurt. He did not have feelings for me enough to hurt, yet i obviously had them for him. Thats painful. And im having troublenunderatanding how i could have feelings, when he was so bad. He lied and squandered our finances. Will he do that with girlfriend as well?
