#11 - Piecing is hard!

[kiro]

Well, Steve, it is true that you are starting to sound like a WAS

I am deciding deliberately to follow a theory that says that love is a choice and that it's not about finding the right person but about learning to love the person we found.

I obviously have no proof that this is the best theory, but I tell myself if I was able to have intense love toward my W at least twice the first few years when we first met and then once she BD'ed me, this means that she is a person I could love again and again. And I also loved her during our MR, although the feelings were not as intense.

And it is the same for her feelings. I know she loved me intensely when we first met, but over time her feelings changed.

I don't believe that 2 people need to be 100% compatible in order to love each other and live happily, but at least they need to share some basic beliefs and values.

But MR is not a prison. If you feel like that, and she also feels the same, then maybe you should consider a trial separation for a few months.

And I agree with you that it is important to be with someone who is crazy about you, which doesn't necessarily mean intense feelings. It just means someone who believes wholeheartedly that she wants to be with you. Before BD, I never doubted that she wanted to be with me. I was naive but that's what I believed, and so I was happy.