Feeling lost, scared and wanting to fix this. Pt 3

[SoTorn]

Today's work load isn't enough to help me kick the NMA and get to a PMA. So that train whistle is not fading away. Have several calibrations to do today as well. Already missed one standard. My head isn't in the game today. Got church tonight... there is a whole lot of doubt...

Back to feeling useless and unwanted. Yeah its all in my head. Got lots to work out.

There are lots of women at the gym. You know what goes through my head? Not any of them are my W.

I read here and there are so many of you that seem far stronger than I am feeling. I read how hard it is. So I know what I am feeling isn't unique.

I pray that the meeting would be a huge and positive surprise. I guess I will see.

There are a lot of women in this world and none of them are your W. But there are a lot of them that would sure love to give you attention and be nice to you. So just don't forget that.

I just want to share with you my experiences lately. I have lost a ton of weight and can honestly say I look great. I feel that I am above average on the looks scale now. That being said, I was also just pining for my WW. Completely ignoring the world moving on around me. I took a step back and said "I am going to actually pay attention to what pops up" because I deserve to enjoy my life. Once I started doing that I actually garnered quite a bit of attention from women. Of course I have not gone and started a relationship, but yes I have been talking to whoever wants to talk to me.

Now that I know that I am actually a marketable man, and would have zero problems finding another woman, my confidence has soared. I have literally sat back and said "wow, am I this good looking?" What in the world suddenly changed besides my looks that is now causing a reaction with women where they are approaching me and asking me out?

I guess that would be the detachment, GAL and 180's. Feels good. And honestly its pulling me out of my past, yanking me kicking and screaming out of my hurt, sadness, anger and resentment, and making me realize that my future is what I make of it. Not what WW makes of it. Me. I am no longer "afraid" if WW doesnt come back. No I don't want a D still but if she doesnt come back I will be perfectly fine. If she does come back she better have made some major changes or there is zero chance with this man.