Surrendering to grace...

[kiro]

I said 'fair enough' because this is a debatable subject. The debate is a fair game on an intellectual level, but this sidetracks us from the core issue here.

In my sitch, both W and I were practicing believers when we met. We got married based on common beliefs that included the usual values of MR, such as commitment, monogamy, faithfulness, trust... And we lived together based on these values for 17 years.

The fact that she decided to have an A is betrayal to our MR based on the agreed upon values and contract. It's basic contract management. 1 party cannot change the terms of the contract without the other's participation and approval. Unfortunately, the terms of this type of contract are not enforceable and anyone can walk out at any time. If she doesn't believe in the same values anymore, it's her right, but it's a betrayal to what we have. I felt insulted when my W started to justify her actions using such things that monogamy is not the only option, commitment for life didn't make any sense, that she was too young to make such a decision when we got married, etc. C'mon! That's B.S. to try and rationalize her infatuation and fantasies. No accountability whatsoever! Changing the rules every time we feel like breaking them...