Because she has been like this for 21 years and I don't trust her as far as I can throw her!
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Because she has been like this for 21 years and I don't trust her as far as I can throw her!
True that past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. I am sure she predicts your future behavior based off your past behavior, but you are changing. This will confuse her. You drop the rope and it is no longer "Fun" for her to pull on it.
Anyway, humans are emotional creatures. Woman typically more than men. It is our job as men not to be "afraid" by a woman's emotions. Just understand how to read them. Reflect them back in word.
"You look angry"
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I agree. It seems like she is a spinning top now. Her emotions are all over the place and yes she looks angry all of the time.
I just finished filling out my intake form for my free attorney for D. I spoke with the L and he knows that I don't intend on filing right now or first. I have my consult with him tomorrow.
I just want to make sure I have an L in case WW goes nuts. WW has told me several times she wants this to be amicable. I want the same provided it goes to D, which I am sure it will.
I just want out. I will be fine on my own. WW will have to pay child support to me.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Thanks. I have read that several times and literally created a checklist.
I am loving myself, I have lost 85lbs, I'm working on getting cut, I do a ton with my kids, i do a ton with friends and alone, i started school, I have been reading like crazy. I'm kicking a$$ at work and will be up for a promotion soon. I have been GAL like a madman and going out of town.
Honestly I'm very happy with myself. I just look at my WW now and I'm like wow, why did I think it was ok to be treated this poorly for so long? I mean years of emotional abuse. I'm no angel, but hell I recognized the a$$hole in myself and erased him. I guess I was hoping that me mellowing out, making confident decisions for myself and not fighting with WW may make her try and change. But she just got worse and worse and then the A. She doesnt want me. Fine. I want me. My life wants me. I am 100% happier when I am not with her.
These boards are awesome. I would still be spinning in circles if I didnt find them.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Got up today, slept well. Didnt have a chance to make my bed ugh. I said bye to S11 and I'm about to meet my L. Ww came home last night after work and was in the same hateful mood. I just kept calm and limited my responses.
I'm just getting situated with this L. He is retained. Just going to talk.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Spoke with the L. WW and I can file as no fault and assets will be divided 50 50 and custody 50 50 for very minimal cost. WW makes quite a bit more than I do, has more 401K, more stocks etc. My L advised that I could take a cash settlement from the WW instead of having to divy up the retirement etc. I am thinking that WW can refinance the house and give me the equity and also give me a cash payment with her bonus.
The L did sense that I have a smidgen of hope in me and said that he thinks that its wise that I deal with this at the pace I want to. AKA don't just jump on it and file myself.
So that being said, should I try and approach the WW to see if she can agree to just file together? When the time comes?
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
So that being said, should I try and approach the WW to see if she can agree to just file together? When the time comes?
Only if you want to divorce her. And if you did, you would have filed already. So give her time and space. Take your time and space to heal, grow, and improve yourself.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
So that being said, should I try and approach the WW to see if she can agree to just file together? When the time comes?
Only if you want to divorce her. And if you did, you would have filed already. So give her time and space. Take your time and space to heal, grow, and improve yourself.
Yes, time and space for both of you...
You can�t step back once you show her your cards...
Ok. Thanks guys. No I am not doing anything at this moment. I have a hard date set for my limit where I would consider it emotionally unhealthy for me to be hanging around.
I will just keep doing me and hanging out with the kids.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
