I agree. What I meant is, like you said, that her inner choices are complex. It’s mainly based on emotional feelings that they can’t even explain. Then they come up with all kinds of rational justifications to try to explain. I don’t believe most of what they say. I think, for myself, that achieving empathy has to be based on something a little more substantial and not on illusions. So I try to understand the pains she felt during the M whether it’s due to my behaviour or not. And I also feel for her current pain and confusion. But I don’t believe the rational they give to justify what they did (do).
The proof is that we can’t debate rationally with them. They’ll either run away, get angry, or will just change their story and come up with other justifications. And usually, they have no issue lying and denying facts. They will twist anything to proove what they want to do, and what they want to do is based on a feeling.
Their brain acts like a lawyer who is trying to defend someone guilty by looking for any arguments that can proove his case. If the other lawyer dismantles his argument, he’ll just look for new ones.
My main concern (for me and other LBSs) is falling for the trap of believing that what the WAS/WW did was justifiable and ok. And then starting to doubt our beliefs about M and commitment. Unfortunately, modern society with its extremism in liberalism wants us to believe that everything is relative that there are no absolute right and wrong, and then that every act can be justified by an individual’s liberty.
Me:49 XW:41, M:18 years, Kids: S18,S14 BD:JULY 2017, W moved out: DEC 2017 Filed for D: APR 2019, D Final: JULY 2019
