Hmm, If you split up, you'd also be supporting 2 residences, so I do not see this as a problem.
I see what you are saying—that we’d both be responsible, whatever that entails.
But I’ve always thought from the get-go that an S / D would be a terrible idea financially. $ has always been kinda tight for us—not sure how easier it would get on our own.
But then, she also has a mom who I’m sure would be willing to help. I also believe that if her mom is serious about helping, then she needs to go live with her mom.
Originally Posted by Vapo
Tu put is simply, she wants to be done, so she can start the next chapter of her "fairy tale". I know this $hit is hard and one cannot help but to question oneself. Did you make mistakes? Sure you did. could you have been a better husband and a better father? Sure you could. You are not perfect, no one is. Did your actions warrant her abandoning the marriage? Deffo not. She clearly forgot that line "...to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part...". She most deffo forgot the worse part and especially the until death do us part. So to answer your question, no, you most probably have NOT been that $hitty husband to warrant any of it.
Times will come when you will be doubting yourself and in my recollection these feelings come in waves, but the further along you are, the less they will affect you. You have to step up your game and become the best dad you can and you also have to better yourself. You have room for improvement, we all have that.
Thanks, Vapo. Of course I made mistakes, but to hear her tell it, I’m the F-up and the root of all her problems. Typical WAS speak.
I appreciate the affirmation, because yeah don’t feel this is justified at all.
The analogy I’ve had in mind for this reading other posts is: Think of a giant rock splashing in a body of water. Sure, the impact is bad, even catastrophic at first, but as the waves travel further out, in time and in distance from the impact site, the distance between the waves lessen, until waters are calm again.
I am trying to step up my game and be the best dad that I can—hence me spending tons of time with YS where I can. My heart breaks to think that there is a very real possibility that he will not know of a time where W and I are together. But I need to cherish the time with him and serve him, too.
I also know I have room for improvement. But I’m a bit stuck on the GAL part—not the part of where to go to do it, that I’m sure I can find. I just need to not be so concerned about her raising h#ll with me for not being there for the kids. She wants me there only on HER TERMS.
