I just want to point out to others BEWARE the mindset that if you do XYZ for your W that she will feel inclined to reciprocate with sex. They don't operate that way. I used to think this way and never understood why it didn't work that way. Well, I've been reading, as many of you have, and the female mind doesn't treat it like an equitable transaction. Given what I have experienced and come to realize, I believe it. Just know this and watch your expectations.
THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^
In my own experience, my W is more open to sex based on two things: how she feels about herself and how secure she is our relationship.
How she feels about her herself is related to a lot of things and is very complex. All I can say to Hs is to make sure you are making sure there is room in your budget for hair appointments, nail appointments and the like.
On the second one this is a tricky one. Some Ws feel more sexual and affectionate when they are secure in their MR. "He loves me! So I will love him." My W is the opposite. If she feels too secure in the relationship she starts taking it for granted and stops trying. Obviously this is not the greatest dynamic for a marriage, and something we will continue to explore and work on in MC. What I mean by that is there is a certain level of security and comfort inherent in a marriage.
Women are complex creatures, and we guys don't always realize this. The key is exactly in what RR says: watch expectations. Just because you do X doesn't mean she will want sex that night.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
