Did 20 minutes on the stationary bike at school today, and did 40 push-ups. I put aside the sit-ups because my back has been bothering me.
I’ve also been trying to be warmer towards W, although it is hard.
Trying to validate by asking her about the last thing (or things) she said.
Great Moments in Parental Leadership and Validation: I went to go make OS’ lunch for school, and W comes over and tells me that she’s got it. I told her that “I got this, thanks—I can do this.” And then W gets all “I don’t want you to be up late because I know you *always* have schoolwork and you always complain about being up so late and blah blah blah.” I told her that I heard what she is saying, but that it’s okay, I can do this.
We also had a discussion earlier tonight, while I was making OS’ lunch. W asked me if I reviewed the parenting plan. I told her that I started to do that.
She wants to know when I’ll have it reviewed. I told her that I will continue to review it and when it is reviewed it is reviewed.
She wants to know when she will have an answer. A week, a month, never? I told that I will continue to review it and when I am ready I will get back with her.
W then goes on about how I *always* (there’s that word again) say I’m gonna do things but then I never actually follow up. I have looked it over, briefly.
(What I’m hearing from her are complaints and accusations. I could also sense some hostility from her—I went to reach for a container to put something in and she stuck out her hand forcefully towards the containers.)
I said this in an earlier post, but I think the idea of ‘bird-nesting’ that she proposes is laughable. So we’re supposed to maintain 2 residences, and rotate between them? She wants out, why doesn’t she leave? LOL.
She wants to get things moving, because she just wants to be done, and she’s wanted to be done for a while. She told me that the sooner, the better, because according to her it takes 6-9 months to get things through the courts.
She also wants to go to her training in September—she’s talked about putting it off, but she really really wants to do that training. Especially because there might be an opening with some people she used to work with / for—wouldn’t want to miss that if it opens. I know I probably shouldn’t really care, but.....
I tried to validate better this evening: “I understand why you would feel that way, but....”; “I can see what you believe that and....” etc. Tried to be more natural about it.
I know, I know—believe nothing they say, but: It’s weird hearing that she says she wants to be done. What’s the rush? Am I that terrible of a partner? I can’t help but feel a bit sad about that. But between our convo and the parenting plan, it’s clear to me she’s done her homework. I wonder what else there is going on here.
Part of me wonders if I want to be done, too, tbh.
