Brave Little Gerda, So Chilled She Could Not Speak

[Gerda]

It's so funny when you stop in Job, and just slice right through to the heart of the matter. Your vantage point from years of seeing MLC antics is so amazing and never weighed down by the LBS's fog of pain. You always make it all sound so simple.

For example -- the favorite child thing. How many times have I read that on these boards and thought I understood it? And then when it happens in my house I forget all about what I have learned and take it so seriously and think I can fix it and make my kids or my H see the truth somehow. And about trying to control me through my son -- I know they are controllers and manipulators. I figure that's also how he got his friend to pay for the D. And yet daily, because I try to forgive daily, I forget that I should not believing any of what he says.

Lately he disappears so much I don't hear as much from him. Tonight for example it's now 11 pm and no sign of him. I keep thinking of those who say how great it was when the MLC'er moved out and you didn't have to wonder when/if they would come home or feel anxious about them coming home anymore. Can you believe it? Gerda is ready for that now. Not to move on but just to have the PEACE of not having to have him in this house bringing us all down all the time. Of getting to just be me, running as happy a household as I can.

I was thinking we should take my miniature DB friends on the mantle idea more seriously. A talking Job action figure who reminds us of all these things and which could fit in a shirt pocket to whisper reminders throughout the day? There could be a panic button to press during spewing, for example. The Job doll could whisper, "It's not about you! Set a boundary!"