I am glad to see how well your doing. And i hope you keep us updated on whats going on with your FIL. Very scary stuff.
I get what your saying about cultivating an air of perfection. My ex was 6'4 went to top schools, had a great job, drove a luxury car. He was super smart. Could fix anything. If he goes on OLD, he will seem like a great catch. But privately he slept till 3pm, had cc debt he kept secret from me and withdrew from his IRA. Lots of indications of a serious addiction. Point being, that its hard to date afterwards and look past the superficial stuff.
I knew I wanted someone that would not leave his wife and kids. That would not leave unless things were drastic. But those people dont always come with fancy cars or degrees.
Zues had a great post talking about what makes up someone. How the outer layers are looks, inner layers personality, job, religion, politics. But at the deep deep layer is someones morality. Or something like that.
