I didn't get one of those weight off my chest relief feelings like I have read on here. I failed to DB my MR and just kind of feel bummed and down. I feel like a failure even though I probably shouldn't. I called and let my folks know it was done and my Mom kept saying well TF from here on out its only going to get better.
Hey man I am sorry. I can understand why you feel like a failure I was there at one point. I know you don't realize it now but the fact that this all happened so fast is a blessing in disguise. You are going to find out so many things about yourself that you never realized. You are still so young that you have your entire life ahead of you. Trust me when I tell you that you will learn to like being home by yourself. Plus your kids are young and will be in sports that you will attend on you off days so you will see them more then you think.
I started running when I was healing in my sitch. I would listen to "Feeling Stronger" by Chicago and it would totally speak to me. Then when I was done running I would walk down the street to my house and listen to "Ordinary World" by Duran Duran. I would think about us walking the kids in their strollers down that same street and it would make me cry. This morning I went for a run and listened to the same songs as I had last year. I had tears again but they were for a different reason. I have found my new Ordinary World and I am so proud of how far I have come that I shed tears of joy.
You are 13 years younger then me and will have the world by the b@lls when your ready. It will take some time but you will get there. I can usually tell which newbies are going to survive and thrive and which ones won't.
Lastly, my gut tells me she'll be back. Don't wait for her though because that will just prolong it. I still predict that when it happens you will say "thanks but no thanks".
