Just keep swimming, I think I can, I think I can #

[marina7]

Journaling,

Been feeling down

Tomorrow is court, of course we live in a
50/50 state. And they look at school scores

Well I was told that GAL is recommending
Trios with W because of school district
Even though W have not ask for them

I then ask lawyer, why then give them to W
I was explained because W lives in better school

I was blown away. I was told I could not
take offer then we go to trial.

Lawyer says but trial will cost you over
10,000 I said exactly I don't have this.

Lawyer seem frustrated to me. And said
sometimes you have just let W fail

Which means W takes Trios and W
Could then call GAL and say I can't do
This or something happens.

I broke down. This is the world we live in
Money talks. It doesn't Matter how much I
Prove am the better parent.

I explained to lawyer what happened with W
calling me stress out and anxiety. Lawyer was
Mad at me for answering lawyers says
You can't answer your calls W must do it
On her own. It seems like you always rescuing W

I understand what lawyer is saying but lawyer is
Wrong. W had our kids. Anything could had happen
To our kids.

That part I was upset because I just don't answer W
Calls is only when trio's are with W.

I can tell lawyer is done with my case because no
Payment. Lawyer seem upset but I also understand
Lawyer has bills also.

Here I am in tears and tomorrow GAL making
Recommendations for Trios. Because of where
I live. Not a bad area but school of W is just a
Little better. Nothing big but in this state they go
By that.

I ask myself at what cost. W has family, OW and I
Am alone only me.

This is crazy. I am stuck

I also was told I can call off case this means me
Giving up s10. Again wow

I can't afford new lawyer or retainer.
The children protection system [censored].
It simply [censored].