I think I have had an epiphany. I’ve spent the last 7 months crying on a daily basis and missing our “old perfect life”. Starting to slowly realize it wasn’t so perfect. Walking on egg shells not to upset your partner and having to beg someone to stay with you is not a healthy relationship. I miss the man my H used to be BUT I’m starting to see he is NOT that man anymore. That man would not walk out on a pregnant wife and toddler and watch her cry without comforting her.
I finally made a very brief statement about our separation on Facebook and I feel like an elephant has been lifted off my chest. I felt shame and embarrassment and I don’t know why because he is the one who gave up on our marriage. I was amazed at all the positive support I got and re connected with a lot of old friends reaching out to me which is a positive. I’ve spent 7 months trying to keep this private and protect him in hopes he’d come home but finally he sed to my face “I want a divorce” so I’m choosing to work on MY happiness and give him what he wants.
I think the key is to staying very busy. I do a lot of fun activities with the kids. Work. Clean / maintain the household. I’m getting to the point I am proud of myself. If my husband finds a girlfriend which I know is next I feel bad for her because a) he is going to lie about the reason he walked away from his family b) she needs to deal with his issues and rude MIL. Good luck to them !! Any man that would walk away from a pregnant wife and kids is NOT a catch. I’m really starting to get excited about my new future. Moving ..decorating a new place ...travel... getting healthy ... new beginnings. It’s like a fresh start and I feel free. Of course there is days I break down and miss my old marriage and H from years ago but he is NOT that man anymore and I did everything in my power to work on the marriage. This is his loss and he will regret it one day. I guess my point is if anyone is feeling hopeless I thought I could never move on and I just woke up one day with a completely different attitude and a sense of empowerment. I’m not letting him make me a fool anymore begging someone to be married who doesn’t want that.
