I have been to an IC quite a lot, but none of it has ever been focused on being with my ex again. I will have to figure out the logistics of getting in to see a MC.
The emphasis is on the healing from broken trust, betrayal, and the sort of pain only an A could bring to a LBH. This is why I said to find a therapist that specialized in that area. You may need to see one without your XW, IDK. I don't know that a recovering WW truly grasps the depth of pain she caused. Oh, she may think she knows, but being in a therapy session can bring some things upfront that would not be approached if left up to you.
After my A, my H did not talk about his pain. I learned from the other LBH's on the board, just how much a man suffers when his W is involved with OM.
I think every couple needs some type of counseling, program, books, or something to help them to heal and stay on track. It is very hard to come back from that pain and build a healthy MR. It can be done, but I think having a qualified therapist to guide you can make a big difference.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
