Originally Posted by Sandi2 I wouldn't consider this Piecing. I wouldn't even consider it a reconciliation. You are just dating and talking. That's all.
I don't mean to hijack, but I'm wondering if Sandi you might be able to give a good definition of piecing? It doesn't apply to my sitch, but I've never quite been clear to the definition despite reading others who are working on it. Maybe there's a good definition somewhere I've missed.
I appreciate your question, Yail. I wish there was some type of definition or guidelines for posters to know if they even qualify for the Piecing Your Marriage Back Together stage. I say that b/c I have seen so many jump over to the Piecing forum when they weren't even close to having a sitch ready to piece.
The Piecing period comes after the couple reconciles. The couple should be reconciled, when they enter into the piecing stage. They are living together. There is no IHS separation, no sleeping in separate beds, etc. They are fully reconciled. Piecing does not mean there can be no problems to resolve, however, there can be no ongoing affair or contact with AP.
Piecing the M back together requires commitment from each spouse. They are in agreement to put forth the effort that is needed in restoring health, love, and happiness to the MR.
Piecing is a different place than Newcomers or MLC. Piecing requires both spouses working together to save their M. The rules or guidelines found in Newcomers, were not designed for couples in Piecing, therefore, some of those guidelines would not be applicable.
This may inspire me to come up with a list of do's and don'ts for Piecing.
Thanks for the explanation! It helps me to follow along with other people's sitches. I was under the impression Piecing was what happened before reconciling. Just a misunderstanding, I didn't know the term.
