Here’s my tuppence worth. It’s been six months now since H moved back. And I’m still waiting for the grand apology.
He has said he’s sorry a couple of times but only when I went off on one. It’s not going to happen.
I don’t know what I was expecting....oh I know what I wanted, the grovelling apology, the “I love you”, the hearts and flowers.
Not happening. However, the gradual integration with me, the kids and GK’s is my real reward. Christmas was wonderful. His card and presents were thoughtful and romantic. He was so attentive to the little ones, building their presents and putting on the stickers (what men are handy for on days like that!)
He stayed up with me until 2am to see in the NY knowing that for the previous two I was on my own while he probably partied with OW. He had to get up by 5am for work.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, actions speak so much louder than words. If you are patient enough to give it time, let go of the bitterness and anger (they will only hold you back), she will show you how sorry she is.
I think it comes when they accept what they did and I can see H is starting to and coming to terms with it.
When the anger at what he did rises to the surface, I remind myself that he was ill at that time and at a very bad place, and that OW (without realising) may have save him from suicide. I will never know, but I do know this is the outcome I would prefer.
It’s not going to be easy but, you knew that. (((Gordie)))
